I’ve been forced to slow down. A running injury has sidelined my often intense level of activity for the last three weeks. Always a bundle of energy even from the time I was very small (my mom says I used to bounce off the walls), I wake very early most days, without the alarm, raring to go.
In these moments of pause, I’ve had time to think differently. Even though I have a meditation practice (more like a moving meditation), stopping to reflect more during this healing process has made me appreciate my physical strength and stamina more. Moving swiftly through space and time has always helped me settle. The spirited, unbridled movement gets me out of my head and into a rhythm of being fully present. It has always brought clarity that focuses my creative flow. And it doesn’t hurt that it is good for my health and makes my legs look great.
But I’ve begun to think that perhaps I’ve been running away from being fully present with myself. Taking time out to mend has brought awareness of what it feels like to be in my body, not just flinging it into the world like a whirling dervish. I’ve pushed it hard and now it’s pushing back. Sort of like my body is saying “Notice me”. The injury and this hiatus have reminded me that I need to be more kind and compassionate, not just to others but to myself as well. That it is okay to not charge full steam ahead all the time; to react right instead of fast. What I need to do is run into myself.
Doubtless I can’t wait to get back to running. But I think I will return to it from a different angle and mindset that I’ve gained from the pause.